From Self-Compassion to Moral Courage: A Path Through Trauma

The surfer lost their board; plunging breakers collide. Drowning is certain; nothing is certain. How do you survive?

This koan emerged from my satori experience four days later...

I know the world is scary right now. If you have past Institutional Trauma, it makes watching what's happening even scarier. Add neurodiversity or anxiety to that mix, and the challenges multiply.

Sit down in front of the mirror. Hold your face in both hands, as if a loving guardian would when speaking to you a profound truth. Now really look yourself in the eyes. Hold that gaze as you visualize your survival, your courage, your agency. This is exactly what I did, and in this practice, I have found genuine relief and transformation.

Contemplate Alan Watts' wisdom and synthesis of Zen and Tao. Allow yourself experiential moments where you find yourself in the paradoxes of Zen practice, often accompanied by ironic cosmic jokes that reveal life's absurdity. These moments bring a special kind of joy and laughter not typically felt—a lightness that comes when we stop taking ourselves so seriously. Accept your impermanence. Accept your mortality.

Forgive yourself and forgive those who abused you. Realize that your trauma, while significant, was not permanent. Understand that difficulties may arise in the future—not because we are powerless, but because life contains both suffering and joy beyond our control.

Accept your survival as a gift of love for yourself. Give that love freely, even to those who cause harm—they would likely cause less harm if they themselves were loved.

You will find equanimity by embodying life's impermanence and releasing attachment to outcomes beyond your influence. This includes letting go of rigid expectations of others and yourself.

Follow that with Wu Wei (effortless action—if you dirty a dish, wash it). Accept that Everything matters precisely because nothing is separate.

This inner peace is not separate from moral action but forms its foundation. As Dietrich Bonhoeffer reminds us: "Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act." And, "Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility."

Bonhoeffer displayed immense courage and equanimity throughout his imprisonment and execution. He sacrificed himself not from hatred of Nazis but from love for their victims.

In your own journey, may you find this same balance—the serenity to accept what cannot be changed, the courage to change what should be changed, and the wisdom to know the difference. From this centered place, both personal healing and meaningful action in the world become possible.

Alan Watts: Out of Your Mind - Lecture Series