"Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God." — Aeschylus

"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced." — James Baldwin

"The artist must elect to fight for freedom or for slavery. I have made my choice. I had no alternative." — Paul Robeson

The Pattern Recognition of Trauma

I work in healthcare IT development, but before I share that perspective, I need to tell you about my experience with institutional abuse that connects directly to the threats our democracy faces today. In 2004, at age 14, I was sent to Thayer Learning Center in Kidder, Missouri - a place that quickly taught me why Missouri rhymes with 'misery.' As someone with ADHD, a condition Thayer claimed to help treat, I experienced their abuse with heightened intensity, my neurodivergent brain's threat-response systems overwhelmed in ways that would leave lasting patterns of trauma recognition.

What Thayer never understood—or perhaps deliberately exploited—is that the ADHD brain excels at pattern recognition. The same neural wiring that makes focusing on mundane tasks difficult enables us to make connections others miss, particularly around threat patterns. My brain cataloged every aspect of institutional abuse: the language that masks cruelty as care, the systems designed to prevent accountability, the way authority figures claim helplessness when convenient.

This ADHD-enhanced pattern recognition now serves as both burden and gift. When I see political leaders dismantling democratic guardrails, I don't merely recognize it intellectually - I feel it viscerally as re-traumatization. The same neurological pathways activated during my Thayer imprisonment fire again when I witness the systematic dismantling of accountability systems and the normalization of abuse at institutional scales.

Growing up I was that weird ADHD kid who loved to dissect technology and build anything I could get my divergent mind to conjure up. But my morbid obsession was The History Channel, and in the 90s before 2004, all they ever played was World War II films. I was more interested in the massive war machines in the beginning, but I couldn't help but be fascinated how clever they were and their advanced technology and all.

I knew early on in my childhood I was different than any kid I would ever meet. It's possible knowing my difference is what gave me early insight into the pain and suffering of  poor souls endured —Jews, Roma and Sinti (Gypsies), Slavic peoples (Poles, Russians, Ukrainians), Black people, Non-European peoples, Ethnic minorities in Nazi-occupied territories, People with disabilities, LGBTQ+ individuals, Political opponents, Religious minorities, "Asocial" individuals. Being targeted because of who you are... That was fascinating, especially knowing if it wasn't for the brave Americans, I too could have ended up like them. My divergent thinking was always asking why and how things are the way they are. My questioning was assuredly annoying to any adult in my vicinity.

The Strategic "Accident": DOGE's Convenient Incompetence

The pattern of institutional abuse I experienced at Thayer has a disturbing parallel in how DOGE's systematic dismantling of government systems is now being framed as mere "mistakes" or "incompetence." This narrative shift represents a classic abuse tactic I recognize all too well: deliberate harm reframed as accidental to evade accountability.

As someone who has worked within multiple digital privacy frameworks, what DOGE has done to government systems would result in massive fines and potential criminal charges in any regulated industry. The Sarbanes-Oxley Act (SOX) mandates strict internal controls over financial reporting and imposes criminal penalties for knowingly certifying inaccurate financial statements. The telecommunications industry's Customer Proprietary Network Information (CPNI) regulations impose strict requirements on protecting sensitive customer data with penalties up to $160,000 per violation. Even the Critical Infrastructure Protection Network (CIPN) framework establishes security standards for protecting vital national infrastructure systems. All of these regulatory frameworks would view DOGE's actions not as mistakes but as potentially criminal breaches of fiduciary duty and security protocols.

When healthcare organizations experience data breaches, they face HIPAA penalties that can reach into the millions. When financial institutions expose customer data, they face regulatory action under Gramm-Leach-Bliley. When telecommunications companies mishandle CPNI data, they face FCC enforcement actions and substantial penalties. When tech companies mishandle European citizens' data, they face GDPR penalties of up to 4% of global revenue. Corporate executives who knowingly undermine security controls can face personal liability under SOX Section 302, which requires certification of internal controls over financial reporting.

Yet when DOGE exposes government databases to public manipulation, allows administration of trillion-dollar payment systems by inexperienced operators with documented racist views, and intentionally redirects government information to private platforms, Elon Musk casually dismisses it as "one big mistake." This includes the "accidental cancellation of Ebola prevention" programs – a mistake with potentially catastrophic public health implications that is being treated with the same casualness as a typo in a tweet.

This isn't incompetence; it's a deliberate strategy. Each "accidental" exposure creates multiple benefits for those implementing Yarvin's blueprint:

• Degradation of Trust: Every "mistake" further erodes public confidence in government systems, advancing the narrative that government is inherently inefficient and corrupt.

• Plausible Deniability: When backdoors and security vulnerabilities are discovered, they can be dismissed as "mistakes" rather than deliberate sabotage.

• Data Harvesting: During these periods of "accidental" exposure, vast amounts of government data can be exfiltrated for later use.

• System Mapping: These "mistakes" provide cover for extensive mapping of government systems, identifying further vulnerabilities and control points.

• Command and Control Infrastructure: The security gaps create persistent backdoor access that can be used for ongoing intelligence gathering and potential future system manipulation – exactly what telecommunications CPNI regulations, SOX, and CIPN frameworks are designed to prevent.

The technical details of these breaches reveal their deliberate nature. Creating a government website with an exposed database that anyone can write to isn't a rookie mistake—it's a fundamental violation of even the most basic security principles. In the private sector, such a vulnerability would trigger mandatory breach notification requirements under numerous state and federal laws. If a telecommunications provider exposed customer proprietary network information in this manner, they would face immediate FCC enforcement action under CPNI regulations. Using identical credentials across government systems and campaign websites isn't an oversight—it's a deliberate blurring of boundaries between government and partisan operations that violates fundamental security segregation principles required under multiple regulatory frameworks.

Most telling is Musk's dismissive framing of these "mistakes." In any regulated industry, such catastrophic security failures would trigger immediate remediation, root cause analysis, and preventive measures as required by CPNI, SOX and CIPN frameworks. Instead, we see casual acknowledgment without meaningful correction. If I implemented systems with such deliberate vulnerabilities in handling protected health information, I wouldn't just be fired—I'd likely face criminal charges under HIPAA enforcement for willful neglect, with potential penalties of $50,000 per violation.

The Reality of Institutional Abuse

Director Aichesson, who ran both the Girls and Boys programs, was the most terrifying man I've ever encountered - like a male Cruella de Vil in the flesh. I learned about survival on my first day at 'the beach' - their sand pit where they slammed me face-first and twisted my arm behind my back, using holds designed to not leave marks. The images of drill sergeants tackling other cadets, of a boy who talked back to Director Aichesson getting up with blood streaming from his nose - these are burned into my memory.

The drill sergeants would slam their campaign hats into our foreheads for looking them in the eyes or any minor infraction. Sometimes our foreheads would bleed, depending on the temperament of whichever drill sergeant we were scheduled with that day. Drill Sergeant Hodges particularly loved this tactic of headbutting cadets with his campaign hat.

The abuse was systematic and calculated. They had what they called 'moon burns' - 3 AM shock treatments where they'd drag us from our beds of concrete floor and yoga mats and sleeping bags - we weren't given real beds - and force us to run laps in the sand pit they called 'the beach.' If one person failed, everyone was punished. Imagine teenagers running in freezing Missouri winter nights, in sand, knowing if you falter, everyone suffers.

Communication was strictly controlled. Other cadets quickly warned me: any letters to my family would be screened. If I mentioned the abuse, the letters would be shredded and I'd face retaliation. They controlled all contact with the outside world. We had no voice, no way to tell our families what was really happening. Other kids warned me in whispers that I could end up like Roberto Reyes, a 15-year-old who had died there just months before my arrival, or be sent to their facility in Mexico where children 'never came back.'

This mirrors exactly how Thayer operated. When confronted with evidence of abuse like Roberto Reyes' death, they didn't implement systemic changes—they offered minimal acknowledgment while continuing the same practices. Just as Thayer reframed abuse as "treatment," DOGE reframes deliberate system sabotage as "inefficiency" being corrected.

The parallels extend to information control as well. Just as Trump has announced plans to dismantle the independent White House press pool and ban media outlets that don't comply with his narrative demands, Thayer controlled all communication with the outside world. Both systems rely on controlling the flow of information to prevent accountability.

A Death Without Consequences

When Roberto Reyes died at Thayer just months before I arrived, he was 15. Emmett Till was 14 when he was murdered in 1955. Both deaths represent systems that view certain lives as disposable. The institution that killed Roberto faced no real consequences - they paid money and kept operating, kept hurting children. This shows their moral equivalence fallacy - acting as if financial settlements somehow balance the scales of justice for a child's death.

Roberto's death was the subject of a 275-page state investigation that found disturbing details deliberately obscured by the institution. He had an oozing bump on his arm by his second day and told staff he was feeling ill. The camp records showed he vomited, defecated, and urinated on himself numerous times over the following days, but staff interpreted these symptoms of severe illness as "rebellion." Instead of providing medical care, they forced him to the ground repeatedly and, in one particularly cruel instance, tied a 20-pound sandbag around his neck when he was too sick to exercise.

Gregory Kutz, head of GAO's forensic audit unit, stated plainly: "There was clear evidence to us that he was abused before he died. The people there misinterpreted the signs of a spider bite and thought he was faking something, so instead of getting him medical treatment, they tortured him." The investigation found "significant contradictions and possible deliberate falsification of written records."

The autopsy cited complications from rhabdomyolysis, a breakdown of muscle fibers that can be caused by trauma, excessive physical exertion, or heatstroke - exactly the conditions created by their "smoke sessions", "moon burns" and physical restraints. His body showed "numerous bruises, cuts and ulcerations consistent with physical abuse." He had been "subjected to sadistic, cruel and harmful acts," thrown into solitary confinement, denied bathroom facilities, and forced to lay in his own excrement. The facility blamed a spider bite, but the reality was that their own forced exercises and physical abuse were far more likely causes, and he might have survived with basic medical care.

I arrived at Thayer months after Roberto's death to find the same abusive practices continuing unabated. This was no isolated incident - more than 30 teens had died in such "troubled teen" programs since 1980. The industry simply absorbed these deaths as a cost of doing business. Missouri, like many states, had virtually no licensing requirements for these facilities. This is how institutional abuse sustains itself: investigations that lead nowhere, settlements that buy silence, and business as usual once the spotlight fades.

The Silencing Power of Fear

One of my most haunting memories is when my father, who hadn't consented to sending me there, called for a wellness check. My case worker brought me to the administrative office where a sheriff was waiting. Here was my moment - an actual law enforcement officer asking me directly if I was being abused. I was screaming inside, desperate for someone to save me. But all I could think about was Roberto Reyes, who had just died there, and my brown shirt big brother: Cadet Hayden's warnings about what happened to kids who spoke up. So I looked this sheriff in the eye, my case worker watching, and told him everything was fine.

This moment haunts me because it shows exactly how abuse maintains itself - not just through direct violence, but through creating a climate of fear so complete that victims won't reach for help even when it's standing right in front of them. As James Baldwin reminds us, nothing can be changed until it is faced - but facing institutional abuse requires more than individual courage; it demands that we break the systems that silence victims.

Patterns of Control: Then and Now

Today, when I watch leaders brazenly attacking our institutions while controlling the narrative, I recognize these same patterns of institutional abuse:

• The systematic removal of basic rights and dignities

• The control of information and communication

• The use of bureaucratic language to hide abuse

• The threats of retaliation against those who speak out

• The way violence becomes normalized under institutional cover

What I witnessed at Thayer - the way they masked abuse as "treatment" while profiting from our suffering - gives me a unique perspective on the current moment. When I read that President Trump has fired Inspectors General across 17 different federal agencies in his first week back in office, I recognize the deliberate dismantling of accountability systems. These IGs represent the only independent offices within agencies designed to protect taxpayer money and root out corruption, fraud, waste and mismanagement. Their mass firing—which experts have called "blatantly illegal"—follows the same pattern I witnessed at Thayer: when accountability threatens those in power, eliminate the accountability.

During Trump's first term, IGs played a crucial role in investigating ethics violations in his administration. At least eight Trump appointees faced IG investigations for issues ranging from conflicts of interest to misuse of government resources. By removing these watchdogs, we see the same tactics of institutional self-protection that allowed Thayer to continue operating after Roberto's death.

The Billionaire Power Network and the Fourth Reich

I see Senator Rick Scott, whose company committed $1.7 billion in Medicare fraud—the absurdity this man walks free much less a Senator, now supporting DOGE's access to federal payment systems under the guise of "fighting waste." The symbolism is not subtle—the Department of Government Efficiency logo featuring a gear with exactly fourteen teeth mirrors Nazi iconography from the German Labor Front. This isn't really about stopping fraud - it's about creating a pretext to dismantle the entire social safety net to usher in the Fourth Reich. The German Labor Front wasn't some left wing labor union fighting for a 40-hour work week - it was instrumental in the destruction and Nazification of The Weimar Republic. The German Labor Front specifically coordinated alignment of institutions under authoritarian—Nazi control. What historians call "Gleichschaltung" meaning "synchronization" or "bringing into line.

It's been a few years since I had recurring nightmares of a version of Thayer where some of the cadets and I would plan an escape but every time our escape was foiled by one of the Drill Sergeants. Every recurring nightmare had a twist or a different escape route, and every time our escape was foiled they would shoot one of us to keep us in line. Should I take comfort and sleep like a baby that Curtis Yarvin has assured the American people their "paranoid Handmaid's Tale fantasy... is not going to happen"? The same Curtis Yarvin who openly states "America just has a really shitty government and needs a new government" while speaking casually about "pulling on the Gordian knot" toward "a revolution, for lack of a better word"?

Perhaps most disturbing is how this rhetoric translates into concrete action aimed at consolidating power permanently. In a recent speech to Christians, Trump stated: "Christians get out and vote just this time. You won't have to do it anymore. Four more years...you know what, it'll be fixed, it'll be fine, you won't have to vote anymore, my beautiful Christians." When viewed alongside his posting of an AI-generated video showing a future "Trump Gaza" with gold Trump statues, topless Netanyahu, and bearded bellydancers—a video described as a "blueprint for ethnic cleansing" that envisions Gaza "cleaned out" of its 2 million residents—the parallels to authoritarian takeovers become unavoidable.

These are not mere eccentricities of an unpredictable leader. They represent the systematic dismantling of democratic norms and the dehumanization of entire populations. When Trump tells Christians they "won't have to vote anymore" after his election, he's not making a casual remark—he's outlining a vision of governance where democratic processes become obsolete once power is secured. The language mirrors precisely what I witnessed at Thayer: Just do what we say this one time, and things will get better. You won't need to worry about your rights anymore.

The Pattern Recognition of Fifth-Generation Warfare

The most alarming aspect is how this approach extends beyond DOGE to broader information control. Trump's threat to create a "NICE NEW LAW" to punish journalists who use anonymous sources shows how this institutional sabotage connects to broader authoritarian ambitions. His banning of the Associated Press for refusing to adopt his "Gulf of America" renaming echoes dictatorial information control tactics from regimes throughout history.

These aren't isolated incidents but components of a comprehensive fifth-generation warfare strategy. When we see Trump replacing independent reporters with podcasters, banning established news outlets from Air Force One, and threatening legal action against journalists—all while DOGE creates backdoors in critical government systems—we're witnessing the systematic implementation of information warfare doctrine against American democracy itself.

Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn writes that we are "living through an era of irregular warfare" and that the book "Unhumans" "offers a fifth-generation warfare system to fight back and win." This isn't merely rhetorical flourish—it represents the application of sophisticated military doctrine against American citizens—the complete US Government, The Constitution and your Bill of Rights.

In fifth-generation warfare, what military strategists call Operational Preparation of the Environment (OPE) takes on far more nuanced dimensions than traditional military operations. While conventional OPE might involve physical reconnaissance or positioning of assets, fifth-generation OPE targets perceptions, beliefs, and information ecosystems. It's characterized by its emphasis on information operations, perception management, and unconventional approaches where the lines between war and peace, military and civilian, and physical and informational domains become deliberately blurred.

What we're witnessing with DOGE and the broader "reboot" strategy is fifth-generation OPE in action:

Information Environment Preparation: Years before launching their current operations, these actors established seemingly legitimate news outlets, social media presences, and online communities. Musk's acquisition of Twitter/X wasn't just a business decision but strategic positioning of a key information platform. The controversial Parler and Rumble platforms didn't emerge organically—they were designed as alternative information ecosystems that could be activated when needed. The redirection of government information from DOGE.gov to X demonstrates this control, telling search engines that the private platform, not the government website, is the authoritative source.

Digital Infrastructure Positioning: The deliberately insecure DOGE website—where anyone could write directly to government databases—isn't incompetence. It's intentional placement of vulnerabilities within critical government systems. When DOGE employee Kyle Shutt uses identical credentials for government systems and Trump campaign websites, it's not carelessness—it's deliberate boundary erosion between government functions and partisan political operations. The systematic firing of Inspectors General across 17 federal agencies creates institutional blind spots that can be exploited.

Narrative Groundwork: For years, these actors have methodically introduced specific frames of reference—"deep state," "administrative state," "government efficiency"—that have primed audiences for accepting more extreme measures. When they mischaracterize government waste statistics (arguing over a 0.48% difference between administrations) as justification for dismantling entire programs, they're activating narrative frameworks carefully cultivated over time.

Identity Cultivation: Yarvin's "dark elves" now in government positions didn't appear overnight. These trusted personas have been cultivated for years, building credibility within specific communities before being activated for their current roles. When Yarvin boasts about casually recommending people for government positions over lunch with senior officials, he's describing the activation of pre-positioned human assets.

Social Network Mapping and Exploitation: The systematic targeting of specific government agencies and functions isn't random—it reflects years of mapping institutional pressure points and vulnerabilities. The focus on payment systems, regulatory agencies, and information infrastructure shows detailed understanding of which control points yield maximum leverage with minimum visibility.

The fact that these vulnerabilities continue to be framed as "mistakes" rather than addressed as the serious security breaches they are only confirms their intentional nature. In the cybersecurity world, we have a term for this pattern: it's not an incident response; it's an ongoing attack. And in any properly regulated industry, it would be treated as such, with criminal investigations and severe penalties under frameworks like CPNI regulations, SOX, and CIPN that were specifically designed to prevent this kind of deliberate sabotage of critical systems.

The Tech-Feudal Strategy: Killing America and Crowning Kings

What's happening in America today parallels the rise of the Third Reich in ways that terrify me —are you going to let them take it? Peter Thiel, a billionaire who has openly stated "I no longer believe that freedom and democracy are compatible" is at the center of a vast network reshaping American politics. Just as the Nazi party had wealthy industrialist backers who saw opportunity in the collapse of democracy, today's billionaire class is systematically funding a network of organizations, people, and platforms designed to end democratic governance. Thiel, who has written that "Since 1920, the vast increase in welfare beneficiaries and the extension of the franchise to women have rendered the notion of 'capitalist democracy' into an oxymoron," isn't hiding his perspective - he's broadcasting it while building the infrastructure to implement it.

Across America, disturbing images are emerging that reflect this authoritarian vision. AI-generated images of towering gold Trump statues looking down on citizens now circulate widely across social media. Similar observers like myself have post mock-ups of Roman-style coliseums with gladiators and captions asking, "How long before they start broadcasting live executions from the arena?" There already is armored MMA like UFC but with medieval weapons streaming on all major platforms. The next step is to take off the armor. — the pleasure and elation for him to sit on a golden bisellium and perform a thumbs up with rapturous applause at the sight of his total power to condemn a gladiator. The ratings would be epic, it would far exceed 12.2 million views.

Even more alarming is that these aren't just digital fantasies. In February 2025, a statue of a goat covered in fake $100 bills bearing Trump's face and the words "IN TRUMP WE TRUST" was displayed at Mar-a-Lago. The statue, with golden horns and hooves, was quickly compared to the biblical golden calf by critics. The goat—created for a project whose acronym literally spells "G.O.A.T." (Greatest Of All Time)—represents the literal deification of a political leader. When religious iconography directly replaces national symbols, when "In God We Trust" becomes "In Trump We Trust," we've moved beyond political support into territory that has been warned against in virtually every religious tradition.

The strategy documented in "The Billionaire Plan to End America" is clear and follows the same pattern I witnessed at Thayer:

• Commit massive fraud (like Senator Rick Scott's $1.7B Medicare fraud)

• Point to the fraud they committed as evidence the system is broken

• Use that "broken system" narrative to justify dismantling social programs

• Transfer public resources to private control

• Create a tech-feudal state where billionaires can rule without democratic oversight

Dryden Brown, founder of Praxis and closely connected to this network, openly states: "We shall build an empire where true power flows from heroic courage and alignment with the divine order" and created a pledge of allegiance to his private city-state. This isn't hiding in the shadows - they're bragging about their intentions to replace American democracy with what they call "monarchy" and "network states" where corporations rule directly.

It's the same pattern I saw at Thayer, just scaled up: Create the very problems they claim to solve, then use those problems to justify more control. When they misrepresent fraud and waste and improper payments as solely a Democratic party conspiracy to defraud the federal government, when the first Trump administration rate of WFA was 4.94% versus Biden's 5.42% Republicans are squabbling for less than 1% difference and it's a call to end democracy? I recognized that information control tactic - just like Thayer screened our letters home to hide abuse. The goal isn't to fix anything; it's to break government programs so thoroughly that people lose faith in the very idea of public goods and social responsibility.

The ironic twist? Just yesterday, February 26, 2025, Comptroller General Gene Dodaro testified before the House Oversight Committee that DOGE - which purports to be targeting waste, fraud, and abuse - has almost entirely ignored the Government Accountability Office, the very agency that has spent decades documenting government inefficiencies. The same agency that referred Roberto Reyes murder to the FBI — what FBI, what investigation? Dodaro revealed that despite Musk publicly highlighting GAO reports before taking office, neither Musk nor DOGE officials have met with him. The GAO estimates that implementing their existing recommendations could save $200 billion, "a very conservative estimate."

Most telling was Dodaro's assessment of DOGE's approach: "I would not consider it a best practice. I've spent most of my career butting heads with bureaucracies across the government. There's a need for change, but how you do it matters. And going about it in the way that's being done now can cause some short-term problems for the government because it can create other vulnerabilities, unintended vulnerabilities." Having worked in IT and worked with many cybersecurity systems and now a developer. Saying "it can create other vulnerabilities, unintended vulnerabilities." does not address the gravity and implications of these breached critical systems that can cause catastrophic harm with unrealized cascading effects.

This strikes me as the exact same institutional dynamic I witnessed at Thayer - claiming to fix problems while actually creating new ones, bypassing existing accountability mechanisms, and operating with a total disregard for established best practices. Cybersecurity experts have compared DOGE's "infiltration" of government IT systems to "an ongoing data breach" - yet another parallel to Thayer's violation of boundaries under the guise of "treatment."

A Call to Action

I'm no longer that powerless 14-year-old forced to stay silent. I understand systems now, both as a survivor and as someone who works in healthcare IT. My neurodivergent mind - once targeted for "correction" by Thayer - has become my greatest asset in recognizing institutional corruption patterns. The hyper-vigilance that ADHD and trauma created in me now serves as an early warning system for democratic collapse.

The logical conclusion of what these billionaires have planned is monarchy, not prosperity. "As the crappy governments we inherited from history are smashed," Yarvin writes, "they should be replaced by a global spider web of tens, even hundreds of thousands of sovereign and independent mini-countries, each governed by its own joint-stock corporation, without regard to the resident's opinions." This is feudalism repackaged with venture capital branding.

We must document and expose these deliberate attempts to undermine our democracy and social fabric. Here are specific actions we can take:

• Document and Share: Record these patterns of institutional abuse and share them widely. Use social media, community meetings, and any platform available to raise awareness.

• Support Independent Journalism: Fund journalists who are investigating these networks of power and influence.

• Protect Whistleblowers: Create and strengthen systems that allow people to safely report abuses of power.

• Build Community Resilience: Strengthen local democratic institutions and community bonds that can resist authoritarian control.

• Demand Accountability: Call your representatives and demand oversight of unaccountable power structures like DOGE.

We must protect others from the tech-feudal future they're trying to create. The deepest wound is that this trauma doesn't end. I carry it everywhere. I see the patterns of institutional abuse in our society because they're burned into my consciousness.

As Baldwin wrote, nothing can be changed until it is faced. We must face the truth about the institutional failures that allow abuse to flourish, whether in youth facilities or in our democratic systems. And as Robeson reminded us, we must elect to fight for freedom. Those who witness these patterns of control and abuse have no alternative but to speak out.

There are no reparations for what was taken from me. The years of development, the safety, the trust - these aren't things that can be restored with money. The system that allowed Thayer to operate still exists, still protects institutions over individuals, still tolerates the abuse of the vulnerable.

So when I talk about institutional abuse and its parallels to current threats to democracy, I'm not being political or dramatic - I'm speaking from the place of someone who has seen behind the curtain, who knows what these systems are capable of doing to human beings while calling it 'treatment' or 'order' or 'discipline.' My neurodivergent pattern recognition isn't alarmism; it's functioning exactly as it should, identifying threats before they become inescapable.

When Yarvin casually discusses how Trump should defy the Supreme Court if "it feels right" and under circumstances that feel "unifying," I recognize the same calculated language Thayer used to normalize abuse. The facility directors would frame our torture as "therapy" and "character building" while Drill Sergeant Hodges slammed his campaign hat into our foreheads until we bled. Now I hear Yarvin discussing the potential overturning of judicial review established in Marbury v. Madison as if it's simply an administrative adjustment rather than a fundamental dismantling of constitutional checks and balances. The pattern is identical: present extreme actions as reasonable necessities while hiding their devastating implications.

As Hannah Arendt understood, "to think critically is always to be hostile" - hostile to systems of oppression, hostile to the abuse of power, hostile to the normalization of cruelty. Like Anne Frank, I documented my experience with a system of abuse, but unlike Anne, I survived to warn others. And I will not be silent while the architects of a new authoritarian order attempt to dismantle American democracy in favor of tech-fueled feudalism.

My recurring nightmares about failed escapes from Thayer, where the punishment was death for those who tried, are evolving into new fears. What will my nightmares become when the "revolutionary vanguard" Yarvin celebrates continues its march toward dismantling democracy? Will I dream of escape attempts from a country where "dark elves" have gained control of the levers of power and enacted their vision of a modern monarchy? Will I wake in cold sweats as I witness our democratic guardrails systematically dismantled by those who openly state their contempt for the very concept of democratic governance?

For those who might dismiss these concerns as alarmist, I urge you to consider the clear scriptural parallels. When we see a president who posts videos of gold statues of himself overlooking the masses, who tells followers they "won't have to vote anymore" after his election, who commands loyalty through fear rather than respect, who focuses on self-aggrandizement above service - we're witnessing a pattern that has been warned against throughout history. These are not random similarities but systematic parallels to how authoritarianism replaces democratic governance, a pattern repeated throughout human history and documented in our most ancient texts warning against the worship of golden idols and the surrender of freedom to autocrats—to be conquered.

Final Word

As Tacitus documented, Nero's cruelty became legendary through his persecution of those who spoke truth to power. Today, I harbor no illusions about what awaits those who challenge emerging autocracy. I may face threats from privatized security forces, militias, or radicalized countrymen who have abandoned democratic principles—though I question whether those who would hunt fellow citizens can still claim to be Americans in spirit. Yet I persist, knowing that even if I am silenced, those who eventually reclaim our democracy will remember these warnings. Dietrich Bonhoeffer, martyred for his resistance to Nazi tyranny, understood this moral imperative when he wrote: 'Silence in the face of evil is itself evil. God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.' Following his example, I choose to speak, to act, to warn—whatever personal cost I may bear.

This letter was originally addressed to Representative Jasmine Crockett and is now shared as public testimony.